With a humongous list like that, it’s clearer and easier to read if you put it in point form, like this:
In the fourth chapter, I first describe the policies and behaviors associated with E-learning tools, such as:
- collaboration tools (e.g., Audio and Video conferencing, E-mail, Online discussion boards, Chat, Online meeting tools)
- authoring tools (e.g., Authorware, Web course builder)
- etc etc.
When you finish the list, at "introduced"… take a deep breath and start a new sentence. Also, try to use active voice: "I note their capabilities and compare their weak and strong points in different applications. I also indicate the share of E-learning tools in standards and specifications such as…"
I have fixed your first par. a little too. A couple of points:
– Present tense is better than past tense when describing the paper you are writing
– Try to use ordinary words instead of pretentious academic jargon.
So "I describe" is way better than "I sought to record".
– Use one sentence for each thought. There’s no point in running everything together into a single sentence.
And so the last par. reads better if it’s divided into several sentences. See my suggestion above.
All this is standard advice on good academic style, I hope. References :
Turtle is correct. Your post is not a paragraph, it is one long run on sentence..and frankly my eyes glazed over before I got halfway through.
Reading takes not only comprehension of the actual word, it requires being able to pick out the key words/phrases you wish to impart. The format you have used makes it next to impossible to do so. Try reading it without stopping (which you must do without using a period, right?) and see if you make any sense of it. References :
With a humongous list like that, it’s clearer and easier to read if you put it in point form, like this:
In the fourth chapter, I first describe the policies and behaviors associated with E-learning tools, such as:
- collaboration tools (e.g., Audio and Video conferencing, E-mail, Online discussion boards, Chat, Online meeting tools)
- authoring tools (e.g., Authorware, Web course builder)
- etc etc.
When you finish the list, at "introduced"… take a deep breath and start a new sentence. Also, try to use active voice: "I note their capabilities and compare their weak and strong points in different applications. I also indicate the share of E-learning tools in standards and specifications such as…"
I have fixed your first par. a little too. A couple of points:
– Present tense is better than past tense when describing the paper you are writing
– Try to use ordinary words instead of pretentious academic jargon.
So "I describe" is way better than "I sought to record".
– Use one sentence for each thought. There’s no point in running everything together into a single sentence.
And so the last par. reads better if it’s divided into several sentences. See my suggestion above.
All this is standard advice on good academic style, I hope.
References :
Turtle is correct. Your post is not a paragraph, it is one long run on sentence..and frankly my eyes glazed over before I got halfway through.
Reading takes not only comprehension of the actual word, it requires being able to pick out the key words/phrases you wish to impart. The format you have used makes it next to impossible to do so. Try reading it without stopping (which you must do without using a period, right?) and see if you make any sense of it.
References :